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1 John 3:11 (NASB)
For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another…

John 13:34 (NASB)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

John 15:17 (NASB)
This I command you, that you love one another.

Romans 12:10 (NASB)
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor

Romans 13:8 (NASB)
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Galatians 5:13 (NASB)
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

1 Peter 4:8 (NASB)
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 John 3:23 (NASB)
This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.

Ephesians 4:2 (NASB)
…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love…

I did a search on “love one another” and that search resulted in twenty-three Scriptures on how we are to love one another. In some you will find the word “commandment” or “commanded” preceding “love one another.” In others you will not; however, if it precedes any “love one another,” then you can safely assume that it is a commandment — always!

Let me ask you a question. If you were to walk away from your one-flesh covenant Marriage, where would you go? Have you ever thought about that? I can tell you that if you are IN Christ — meaning you are a blood-bought born-again child of the King — and you have made Him Lord of your life, the answer to that question can only be that you would walk straight to Him — and no where else. For there is no other Name given under heaven by which man can be saved. And if you’re walking away — or running away — it had better be to Him. Otherwise, your troubles are only beginning. There is no one else that can save you from where you are at this moment in time. There is no one else to rescue you. None. If you are walking away from your Marriage, you are doing so under your own power. You think you have done all you can to make it work — and you are probably right that YOU have done all you can. But you haven’t given it to Christ — the One Who redeems that which is lost. The One Who restores that which is broken. The One Who Heals that which is sick.  The One Who makes the lame walk; the deaf hear, the blind see — the One Who raises that which is dead and breathes new life into them.

 1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and He brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones.

2 He caused me to pass among them round about, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley; and lo, they were very dry.

3 He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, You know.”

Ezekiel 37:1-3 NASB

Dear Stander, there is nothing more dead than a valley of dry bones. While the above verses are a prophetic vision of Israel that have been fulfilled in our time in the rebirth of the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people, those verses also aptly describe hundreds of thousands of Marriages and Homes. Did you know that from the last destruction of their nation to the resurrection and rebirth of the new nation of Israel was 1900 years?

God has used these verses to speak to me about the dead bones that represent my own Marriage. He said to me, “Can these bones live?” and I answered as Ezekiel, “O Lord GOD, You know.” It’s worth it to read the rest because it contains a promise for the Stander — the one who is waiting for God to open the grave of their dead Marriage, breathe life into it and restore them into the Land of Promise.

 4 Again He said to me, “Prophesy over these bones and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.’

5 “Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones, ‘Behold, I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life.

6 ‘I will put sinews on you, make flesh grow back on you, cover you with skin and put breath in you that you may come alive; and you will know that I am the LORD.'”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold, a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to its bone.

8 And I looked, and behold, sinews were on them, and flesh grew and skin covered them; but there was no breath in them.

9 Then He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they come to life.”‘”

10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they came to life and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army.

The Vision Explained

11 Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel; behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope has perished We are completely cut off.’

12 “Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Behold, I will open your graves and cause you to come up out of your graves, My people; and I will bring you into the land of Israel.

13 “Then you will know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves and caused you to come up out of your graves, My people.

14 “I will put My Spirit within you and you will come to life, and I will place you on your own land. Then you will know that I, the LORD, have spoken and done it,” declares the LORD.'”

Ezekiel 37:4-14 NASB

I know that you and I do not have 1900 years to wait for the resurrection of our homes, and God knows that too — but as painful as it is to go through, the wait will be worth it to hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” The wait will be worth it to see your Prodigal Spouse acknowledging Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their life and coming home — HOME — to their Covenant Love. Folks, God has every detail in your life under His watchful care. Nothing that has happened to you has caught Him by surprise — but He uses what has happened to bring about HIS plan and the good that only He can bring about. Trust me, we have not put God on a detour road. All the days were written for me before one of them came to be — so He’s not in the least surprised by my stupidity — or yours. Seriously. These painful trying events make us stronger, nobler characters by stretching and growing our faith. I can honestly speak for myself when I say there are times I didn’t think I could go any further. In a fraction of a moment in time I actually contemplated “walking away.”

The million dollar questions start rolling around in my color-saturated brain cells (you know, blonde):

Where would I go?

To whom or what would I be running to?

Wouldn’t I be doing the exact same thing I did when I walked out the first time?

Wouldn’t my Prodigal Spouse think he was justified in not coming back?

I’ve already told our children that God is restoring this family. . . . Hmmm.

In my foolishness, I would make God’s Word out to be a lie. Some witness!!

Ask yourself another question:

WHY do you really want your Covenant Spouse restored to you?

Are you lonely?

Your kids are driving you nuts?

Your income and quality of living have diminished. . . .

Maybe you just don’t like the stigma attached to being “d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d” and you’re afraid of what some people think.

Who cares what they think? If you give sway to their thoughts, then you are like a ship tossed to and fro on the waves of opinion doomed to sink into the muck and mire of legalism and whatever else is out there — like your pride. You won’t be able to hear what God has to say when He speaks because of the other voices you give ear to.

WHY? Why do you really want your Covenant Spouse restored to you?

I’ll tell you why you should want your Covenant restored.

God hates divorce! That should settle it right there! He gives no exceptions! But since we are always looking for other proof… Keep reading! 🙂 Divorce for any reason is really treason against the God of your Covenant Vow. You see, the real reason you’re seeking to reconcile with your Covenant Mate is because:

No 1: God will require your vows of you. Oooo… Why is that so important? Because you didn’t just say that stuff with your Covenant Spouse — “. . . . for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” — you made a Covenant with God when you spoke your wedding vows.

“It is a snare to a man rashly to say, It is holy, And after vows to make inquiry.” (Proverbs 20:25 ASV)

“Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS, BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.’ (Matthew 5:33 NASB)

No 2: Can you say commandment? The link to that is this –> The hallmarks of a blood-bought born-again child of the King are FORGIVENESS, MERCY, and GRACE — the very things that Christ imparted to you when you asked Him to — because He loves you. Those are all UNmerited favors and are gifts to the one who will receive them. Freely He gave and freely you received. Those UNmerited favors cannot be earned by anything you do or say. But they are commanded to be given in return — for all are borne out of LOVE! And what is Love? A commandment. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to “hate” someone that you are loving as Christ loves you.

Why is it so hard for us to give those same things to our Prodigal Spouse? How can we expect God to forgive us and love us and impart His mercy and grace to us — and then we withhold those very things, even refusing to give them to our one-flesh (one in body) Husband or Wife? I’ve said it before: I am so very thankful that at present, my Prodigal is not the one who is my Judge. Understand dear Prodigal and Stander: the measure with which you use to judge another by will be the same measure God uses to judge you…

“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2 NASB) (Reference also: Mark 4:24 and Luke 6:38)

When you compare everyone to your standard of measure, they will fall short every single time! The Scriptures say that makes you without understanding! Your real standard of measure should be the Word of God and your example is Jesus Christ — He has called you to Love and Forgive every single time — without measure . . . .

“For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.” (II Corinthians 10:12 NASB)


When God calls us — HE calls us to be HOLY because HE is Holy. 1 Peter 1:16 states “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”

When God calls us to Forgive — HE calls us to forgive without measure. Matthew 18:21-22:

 21Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

When God calls us to love one another, He isn’t kidding. At the beginning of the article, I posted nine Scriptures of at least twenty-three that have to do with loving one another.

Let me ask you another question. Where in the Bible — the final Authority on how we are to live and conduct our lives — does it give instructions on “When to Walk Away?”

I’ll save you the trouble in looking for that answer — but I’ll answer that question with another question.

When should Christ walk away from us? Have we not all committed harlotries (also known as adulteries) against the One Who shed His blood on calvary to save us from perishing? Romans 8:38-39 NASB:

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If you can find anything that can separate us from the love and mercy and faithfulness of God — anything that God missed in those two Scriptures above, then you’d be the first. There is nothing but nothing that will make Him walk away from His redeemed, blood-bought born-again children who are His Covenant Bride.

My point is simply this: Because you are one in body with your Covenant Husband or Wife; Because you are brother and sister IN Christ; Because you are one in body with Christ; Because you are His Covenant Bride — then you can never walk away. No matter what you or I do that is against our Heavenly Husband, Jesus Christ, He will NEVER walk away from His Bride and REmarry another. Marriage is to the Husband and Wife what Salvation is to the Church. We are his Covenant Body and our Marriage will take place at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb in Heaven when we will be presented to Him without spot or blemish. It is because of His presence within us that makes us Holy and Sanctifies us. It is by virtue of our being ONE in body with our spouse and our presence with them that they are Sanctified and made Holy. And one day soon, in your faithfulness to GOD, you will realize that this isn’t about being restored to each other “just because” — but this is really about presenting your Covenant Mate before the Throne of Grace and carrying them in labored prayer until they bow in acknowledgement of Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord of their life.

That’s why you’re here.

You can never walk away.

Amen.

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Standers – If you have a Prodigal Spouse who is being abusive and/or using, the above still fits. BUT my only caveat to the above is this — remove yourself to safety. Especially if you have children. Seek Godly help and counseling where appropriate, making sure to test the Spirits seeing that what is being said is in God’s Word. With God ALL things are possible — even the healing of your abusive / using Spouse. The fact that they are abusive and/or using does not negate the Covenant Vow. It is still until death. Your standard is still that of God’s Word — to be Holy because He is Holy; and to follow I Corinthians 7:10-11 — that a wife is not to leave (divorce) her husband, but if she does, she is to be reconciled to him or remain UNMARRIED. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. Neither spouse can REmarry. Removing yourself from the situation is NOT walking away. You are providing you and your children (if any) safe haven and rest — and relying on God to heal and restore that which has been stolen from you. Remember: your enemy is not your spouse. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12 NASB) Once you truly realize that this is a spiritual battle for the soul of your family, you will be better positioned to pray for the restoration of your spiritually blinded and hurting Spouse to the ONE Who gave all on the Cross at Calvary.

© 2009 – 2011 TheEphesianMarriage. All rights reserved by TheEphesianMarriage unless otherwise stated. All other writings and symbols are the registered trademarks of their respective owners.

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